Discernment and Separation Counseling
Discernment Counseling
Our discernment counseling protocol was developed to help couples figure out whether to stay together or separate. It is informed by EFT and DBT for couples.
The protocol consists of 10 structured, action-oriented sessions. Couples first identify their own values, and then the shared values that form the foundation of their relationship. Then a series of facilitated discussions helps clarify each person's specific goals for their future, identify any conflicts, and determine if it is possible to work toward a place of alignment.
We also identify common challenges within the relationship and problemsolve how to recognize these dynamics in the moment. Couples work to develop their own system to most effectively engage in challenging conversations in the future. By the end of the protocol couples have a clear idea of whether their values and goals are aligned and are able to make an intentional decision about whether to stay together or separate. If desired, this can be followed by separation counseling. ​
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Separation Counseling
Our separation counseling protocol is similar to the discernment counseling protocol, but it is intended for couples who have already decided to separate and wish to do so in a way that is intentional and aligned with their value system.
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Similarly to the discernment protocol, the separation protocol consists of 10 structured, action-oriented sessions. Each member of the couple will identify their own individual values and then together they will identify the shared values that brought them together in the first place. We then have a series of facilitated conversations to clarify each member's specific goals for their relationship throughout and after the separation process, based on the foundation of their values.
In this process, we will identify common challenges within the relationship dynamic and how to recognize them. Ex-partners work to develop their own system to most effectively engage in challenging conversations in the future. By the end of the protocol, the former partners will have a plan for how to navigate their separation in a way that effectively preserves their own self-respect, respect for each other, and their own values.